Just be by my side

 Sitting in the centre of the college auditorium where everyone is giving huge applause to the person receiving a trophy for winning on a quiz contest and little before he received a debate contest prize. He is also the president of the college student association. I am jealous of him as I am not that good at studies rather, I like to dance, drama and parties. His name is Rajesh and I am Netra. We used to fight always in college for silly reasons like for college voting campaigns, cultural activities, college functions, for collecting the amount for helping students welfare association, and so on. 

But one fine day we realized we were not enemies but became close friends and that lead us to become lovers of the college campus.

Yes, we both were very different our views never matched but still we know what our views were even before we could discuss it. We started to meet regularly at places in the college but then slowly we also started to meet outside the college at movies, parks and coffee shop we started to like each other’s company way too much.

We still used to have silly fights but also easily pampered with each other’s lovely talks and smiles. I started to call him as soon I woke up in the morning, he started to pick me up for college and dropped me home as well, we used to buy each other gifts for every small reason, we sent stupid love messages to each other and started singing songs for each other.

It was like we knew each other’s heartbeat, which told us the other was very close to us even before seeing the other. It was very difficult for us to pass the time when the other was absent from the college, the day never ended without seeing each other nor started without seeing each other.

Soon the final year exams started and everyone was studying hard but for me, he was my study he was my trophy. I could not concentrate without him on my studies but when he was there with me my concentration was on him. I was not scared of exams and results but I was scared of leaving the college after these exams.

Finally, the day came when exams were over and all went back home thinking of good results and expecting their scores and feature, and I didn’t even know how I did my papers. We all promised to meet again soon and left.

We were still in touch over phone calls, chats and social media sites and the final year exam results were announced and it was time to meet. I had to panic as I didn’t even know will I pass all the subjects? but I was happy that Finally, I was going to meet Rajesh and all my other friends.

Rajesh had scored in distinction and as usual, everyone was very happy for him and I flunked in two I was sad very much devastated but when all said you will pass in upcoming supplements I was feeling good and I made my mind that in supplements exams I will complete it.

Rajesh got a job in a reputed company as a business development analyzer and I had to study. He promised to help me in my studies and finishing my degree, we used to meet whenever he was free from his work or at night when he reached home.

Slowly things started changing; he started ignoring me or my calls. He stopped meeting me anymore or talking to me on calls. 

I wasn’t devastated that much when I failed my exams that I happened to be when I got to know he dumped me. I could not concentrate any more on my studies, stayed crying in a locked room. I wrote many letters but never mailed them to him.

Just be with me as I adore you,

Just be with me as I love you more than any,

Just talk to me as it makes me feel better,

Just come to me because I miss you the most.

The unsent letters never brought him back but the worst happened I failed again remembering him brought me nothing but I had become the most unwanted to him was what I realized that day. A year before the one who said to support me was laughing in front of me.

That’s when I quit everything and went to Hyderabad. I learnt to live alone, I learnt no promises kept are always kept as they don’t have any value now as any person, I learnt not to believe anyone blindly, I learnt to live for myself first then for my parents and then think of others, I learnt fashion design and I learnt to earn money more than love.

But yes of course this would have happened or maybe even more than this if you would have been by my side,

I always wanted to say, just be by my side, I may raise back,

Just be by my side, I will glow like a star,

Just be by my side, I will learn to be strong,

Just be by my side, you may see how love works,

Just be by my side, I will never break you,

Just be by my side, I may make you,

Just be by my side, I will keep you in my heart,

Just be by my side, I will get you back even from the hell,

Just be by my side, I may create wonders.

But all you have left me to say is,

You left me alone when I believed you would stay,

You left me alone when I needed you the most,

You left me alone when I wanted to raise back,

You left me alone, to make me nothing,

But my love who left me for nothing,

You left me alone, to make me strong,

You left me alone, to help me learn from my mistakes,

You left me alone, to help me think sensible,

You left me alone, to learn to live alone,

You left me alone, to learnt to love myself first.

So, thank you for all that support, thank you for that distancing, thank you for your sarcastic laugh and thank you for dumping me.