Overthinking

Am I insensitive??? Since morning this thought was pondering in my mind…

Today I got up late in the morning, precisely at 7 a.m.

My house was piled up in a mess... Its was so difficult to compile it in a day . My worry was not messed house but messed emotions, which were turmoiling me a lot...

Anyways I left the bed, coz anyhow I had to get ready by 8:45a.m. Today was my class. When I got up my mother in law was already in the kitchen. She was preparing lunch for my husband. Guiltily, I started doing my other household chores. As I was arranging everything and sweeping the house my father’s phone rang up.

He was talking loudly, and I could hear conversation from his side.

“ Ohh... When....How ....At what time....ok... 12 o'clock...Fine ....”

He hung up the phone. I understood clearly that it’s about someone's demise.

“ What happen papa...??” I asked worriedly ...

“Janki Bhabhi..Mama’s friend passed away.” 

I sighed, “ Ohhh...”

This was my only ruthless reaction...

I, again started doing my work. My father told my mom in law about it but I was least interested in their conversation. After some time Maa called me up. She said in low voice, “ Deepti.. I need to go for the last sight and ceremony of Janki bhabhi..How could I manage with the kids. Is it requires you to go today??”

I was dumb at the moment, I was short of word... Because today for me it was urgent. As during this period we are teaching through online classes so I cannot shift my responsibilities to someone else.

Hasitantly, I spoke, “ Maa, I can’t stay today...Today is my class and I can’t miss it...” 

She didn’t speak but I could feel her silent weeping... With the heavy heart I completed my work anyhow and silently started for school. 

Since, then my mind is occupied with so many thoughts . What will I do when I reach home? How will I face her? She must be annoyed with me and sad... About last night argument which was not yet resolved... And so on.....

I was feeling depressed, am I too insensitive?? Or practical?? Or...........I was thinking... Thinking .... And thinking....

I took my classes and gossip a little with my colleagues.

Every one was leaving for their homes but I was wondering that why I didn’t want to move... 

My friend teased me, “ hmmmm don’t want to go home? Scared of piled up home....”

I said with my usual smile, “ No dear work is never a big thing for me...I just want an easy heart and peaceful mind.. anyways I am leaving too..” 

On the way I bought some fruits and finished up my some work in the market and rushed towards my home..

In the meanwhile my thoughts were wondering randomly.

Finally I reached my sweet home... Called my kids and hugged them.. 

With whole heart I called my mother, “ Maa look at these sarees …tell me how is it?”

Maa said,” both are good… both will look good on you.” 

“ But maa I want you to have one..Or both....Which one do you like the most?

“I like the both...I will share with you don’t worry..”

Okey.... Maa.

“ Maa I bought some fruits as today is your fast...First have it....Then we will finish off the pending things...’

Maa smiled and went out from the room.

Now, the battle which I was fighting since morning ends up... Actually it was never there. It was my foe which was bothering me.. Overthinking.....