A Message to my EX

It took me so lengthy to stop seeing for answers to all the questions you left me with. I have stopped seeing for reasons. I have stopped giving justifications to all the hurt you gave me. You left without showing any sign and it hurt me so much that I began to question my love for you. I used to question my existence and if I would be enough for anyone after you. It took me so many troubled nights, fake smiles and days filled with anxiety to get over this. You broke me and we both know I didn't deserve any of this.

.

I forgive you for all the broken promises, I forgive you for all the sad days I spent cursing my existence- not because what you did was justifiable. But because I deserve peace. Darling, hatred is just another way of holding on and I am tired of having any feelings towards you. You deserve to be happy and I deserve more. It hurts every time I remember what you made me go through but it hurts more to let myself burn in this hatred. I forgive you because I deserve peace, I deserve to be free from your haunting memories. 

.

You didn't know how to love someone who would give the world to you in a heartbeat. You didn't know how to keep someone who loved you with every passing second and I won't blame you for the things you did. You and I were not meant to be and I wish I realized it earlier. You will never be sorry for the mistakes you made, you'll never be on your knees to apologize for the hurt you gave me but I forgive you, because you don't belong here anymore and I don't want to hold on to you anymore.

.

I should hate you for what you did to me but I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone else. I forgive you for trying to silence my voice 1 broke my heart trying to heal yours and I owe myself an apology for that. I hope you are happy. I hope you find peace. Today decided to let go of the past because I deserve to heal and I deserve to be happy again. My heart wants to breathe again for that I must free myself from all your stinging memoirs and all the hurt you gave me. I forgive you, because I deserve nothing but peace.

.

It can be tempting to avoid grief. You may be afraid that it will be very painful, especially because you have lost someone and something is precious. But suppressing your grief can lead to depression, anxiety, obsession, suppressed immune system and chronic despair. Avoiding grief makes you feel stuck and powerless.

Before you are ready, moving away and away from your beloved only increases your distress. Where you are now is exactly where you are. For now, you can hold on to the hope that you will know how to win back your beloved. But as you grieve and adjust, your hope may change direction - perhaps to hope that you can create a happy life for yourself with or without a person.