YOU DESERVE BETTER!!

Staring at her Nokia phone screen had become her daily 3am habit.She was in her final year of college and everything seemed normal,except waking up alarmingly everytime the phone beeped.It wasn't usual for her to wait for someone's message.All these years she had never spoken to a single guy in her college,and yet she felt sudden joy waiting eagerly for this stranger to come online.She use to open "Yahoo Messenger" chat box on the mini screen of her phone, and wait for the status to go green. Nothing compared to "lucky_iitian is typing" would give her heart that extra beat and make her smile unknowingly. 

It all started after the unwanted relation that was being forced on her by her parents.She was about to complete her college, and was expected to get herself some fancy job and settle down with some stranger who was suppose to be her so-called caretaker. She wasn't strong enough mentally to oppose her parents, so she silently agreed to meet whatever match that she was bought to. She was not supposed to speak her mind in-front of them, or else they she would be considered too modern for them. She was suppose to hide her premature grey hairs and look pretty, so that someone would agree to marry her. She wanted to run away from all this marriage drama and go some place where she could live on her own terms. She felt obliged to her parents for educating her,and doing the best they could to get her where she was. But she wanted to scream her freedom out loud and make it heard, but she couldn't, she felt helpless and caged inside her own head. She felt like a cow who was supposed to be owned by someone and give the endless service without asking anything in return.

One evening after the college she was going to the hostel mess to have her evening snack. Her phone starts ringing, it was her dad. She returned from the canteen gate and went someplace silent.

-"Yes Papa, why did you call at this time. Can we speak on our usual time, I was just going to have my evening snack"..

-"Beta! that can wait. I wanted to tell you something. Stop talking to that guy which I had asked you to, we don't like him anymore, he doesn't seem to be a nice guy, so just stop taking his calls."

-"What happened Papa?... What went wrong??..

-"Nothing of your concern. Just do as asked. We will find you another match. This guy is not the right one".

The call disconnected, leaving her with lot of unanswered questions,which she knew she wouldn't get answer to.

She did not go back to the canteen, her hunger took a back seat. Anger and anxiety had taken her for a ride. She went rushing to her hostel room, and opened her cupboard, and took her drawing book. She sat on her bed scribbled on the drawing pages, until all the pages were torn by her anguish.

She did not cry, as that was too over-rated for her. That night after dinner she was lying on her bed wondering what's the point of her life, if she can not take her own decisions. She was fighting with herself, imagining every situation hypothetically, and making herself master of her own little imaginary world. Suddenly her phone beeped, there was some service provider message informing her about their internet offers. Nobody would believe her if she told them that she never recharged her phone, she just had unlimited incoming,so that her parents could call her. She wanted to use her dad's money wisely, so she spent as little as she could. She remembered her school days when they use to snuck into internet cafes, and lie about their school project. She recalled her friend telling her about "Yahoo Messenger", and how they could talk to strangers without revealing their identity. The thought of talking to a stranger scared her, and she promised herself that she wouldn't do any such thing in her life.But that night, holding her phone and constantly looking at that message for internet recharge made her think otherwise.  

Who would have thought that a girl like her would do exactly opposite to what she had promised to herself. That night and every night after that was like a thrilled dream, which had taken a face of reality. She met lot of strangers online, all with different taste, but none could give her the comfort that she needed. She started realising it to be her biggest mistake, to join "Yahoo Messenger",but then the "UNKNOWN" happened. 

Hi!!- lucky_iitian,

She thought for a while and wanted to ignore, assuming him to be like all other strangers before him. But something caught her attention.

He did not text after "Hi". Unlike other he was quiet.

She waited for a while for the inbox to flood in with questions that follows after "Hi".

But quite the opposite happened this time. She could feel the silence between her and the stranger.

"He must be busy texting other girls"-She thought,

After struggling through her thoughts she finally texted him back "Hi".

Rest was History!!

Months passed by and her engineering days were over. She got herself a decent job and shared the financial responsibility with her father.

She was still caged, but something had changed since that day ,when that "HI" broke all the silence and gave voice to her inner feelings.

His friendly gesture, his blinded trust on her , his habit of bringing humour to every sad situation and making her smile, all these and many more.

She hadn't felt all these emotions before, hadn't shared her heart with someone. She felt drawn to him.

"Love" was the word she wanted to use, which she once use to mock, when her friends use to confess "how deeply they loved their boyfriends". Cause she knew soon there's gonna be another guy,and another, and another.

She never knew what "loving someone" felt like. 

But she felt some kind of connection with him, which she couldn't define. She wanted to fall for him deeply and insanely, but was not sure how.

She didn't even knew herself if this feelings for him were mere infactuation, or was it really love.

After months of struggles, and irrevocable feeling that she had for him, she finally decided to confess her feelings to him.

It wasn't the same Nokia screen anymore, she had a brand new Sony phone, which she had bought with her first salary.

And unlike before, she had his number now, and they use to talk daily like the teenagers who cannot be separated even by the distance between them.

Phone beeped "Chimp calling....."

She took a deep breathe to calm her over flowing emotions. She had reheased this several times in her mind, and she was finally going to confess it to him.

She picked up his call, his childish way of calling her "Dhakkan", was the only name she wanted to own.

They started off with their usual conversation. It was all going smooth and steady.

"Chimp I think I have fallen for you, and though I have never seen you or met you, but I believe that I love you."

There she was, pouring her heart out, watching every word that she said, with a fear that she might break out in the middle of it..

A tandem of silence continued..

She was expecting him to finally admit his feelings for her, to tell her how insanely he had fallen for her.

But he said which was least expected..

"DHAKKAN YOU DESERVE BETTER" .. 

Tears rolled down,she pressed her lips hard,to stop the cry out.

She wished she could delete this instance from her memory, like it never happened.

"YES CHIMP I DESERVE BETTER!!!"

That was the last she spoke to him, he tried calling her, texting her, but she never responded to any of them.

She did not block him, as one of her closest friend suggested, instead she wanted him to know that he made her realize that "SHE DESERVED BETTER"