Finding my peace

I’m currently 26 years old and all I want is peace, my name is Rashana Lang. Life has not been the best for me, but I won’t stop until I find my peace . Growing up on survival taught me a lot. I’ve seen my mom struggle to find her peace and I know she would want better for me and my siblings. I was raised by my father and he did the best he could . I am now a adult and I still suffer from past trauma from when I was a child. Both my parents had drug addictions but my dad went to prison when I was a toddler. I was left in the care of my mother and grandparents. My mother was still on drugs so our grand parents did the best they could to raise me and my siblings along with my cousins. We were all in a big house, rats roaches and other bugs were also present. My grandparents made sure we all had food to eat and warm spots to sleep. But they couldn’t watch everything they couldn’t protect me from the things they didn’t see. As a child with a mother that was on drugs and a father that went away for prison, I had to learn from the people whom was around me. My family had good and bad souls around and the good ones I’ll always value and cherish them with my whole heart, but for the bad they left Me scared for life and stunted my growth as an adult . I can say one person in particular, did things to me, my one sibling and a close cousin. It left us searching for answers on why we had to go through the things we should of never had to experience. Now that I’m older I have to find my peace. I have to heal from my trauma and I find it very hard but I will continue to search for the peace I know is out there. I am now a mother and peace and happiness is all I want my child to feel. I will continue to search for the peace I deserve so that my child will never suffer like I had to . Even though I can’t change anything that took place in my past as a child . One way to find peace is forgiveness. I forgive my parents for being away when me and my siblings needed them the most, grandmom and grand pop could only do so much. I forgive the cousin who did things to us that we couldn’t control because of his hurt he was left with. I forgive the people whom made fun of me because I was less fortunate then others and it showed. I forgive anyone who ever wrong me on my journey. I know that one big step to finding my peace is to forgive. One day I will find the peace I know that exist and that I deserve before I leave from this earthly experience, my peace will surely be found and my inner child won’t suffer anymore. My life will finally be at peace.