RUNNING FROM THE CURE

I'm Sam (Sameer Shah).

I'm 23 years old, 

 I'm "Rajasthani”, but was born and brought up in Ahmedabad.

 Right now, I'm in college Final year, doing exactly what I didn't want to do since childhood.

 I'm doing an MBA which I never wanted to do but dad's business needed an MBA so I had to 

do that.

When I first went to college,

I was an average looking guy with not a great body!

so, I was having zero hope for anyone to make me their friend.

 I went to college; the college campus was pretty big.

When I entered my class, the vibe was something I've never felt.

I sat on the last bench because I thought like school last benchers are the badass one's or funny one's

but sadly, in college no one even cares where you sit.

Our first lecture started and I was in a dilemma of thinking that what the fuck is that damn teacher is saying.........................

the bell rang and the first lecture was over.

as I was sitting on the last bench when the bell rang, some middle benchers who were bunking stood up took their bags, and went out of class ...

At that time when they all left my vision was pretty clear to the first bench

And there in the right corner lying to the wall, A Girl was sitting and 

it looked like she was here physically but mentally she was in her world. She stared at the wall not talking to anyone not even the girl beside her.

Days passed weeks passed but she was sitting at the same place staring at the same wall.

Still not talking to anyone.

as I didn't have friends either and the study was too easy for me so I decided to stalk her, 

like why she is the way she is.

one day I reached college early just to look at how she comes and does anyone accompanies her.

I waited almost an hour for her and there was no sight of her

Then a red sooty entered from the gate and it was her, she was wearing a black dress and a red helmet.

that day I tried to make eye contact with her but she didn't.

now I know when she comes to college so I wrote her a note " Hey Helmet" &

kept it at her bench 2 mints before she enters the classroom, then I sat 2-3 benches behind her, she picked it up and read it still didn't react.

I did that for weeks but she didn't care I tried everything to write in it but nothing worked but I didn't stop either.

one day when I was putting the note someone tapped my shoulder and I turned and it was her. it was the first time I saw her from that close and trust me she was just gorgeous she said what you want?........why you do this every day???

and I couldn't utter a word out of my mouth I was so numb, I didn't know what to say 

so I just ran away......!

I didn't go to college for 3-4 days thinking about what will I say to her.

After some days I went to college, I was thinking so much about what to say.

went to my class and this time I found a note on my bench! strange right!?

 I picked it up and opened it.

"HEY SCARED ONE, MEET ME AT THE TERRACE".

I reached the Terrace ASAP.

She was looking up at the sky she knew I was coming although she didn't turn

I stood beside her and didn't know what to say so I also looked up at the sky

and said nothing.

then after 3-4 minutes, she said hi I'm Meera when she was saying Meera I just looked at her lips and went into another world, suddenly I realized so I said hello I'm Sameer Shah.

she said sam you know what (can I call you Sam?) she asked,

I said yes sure.

Do you know why I didn't respond to your notes ever?

cause I wanted to know that when you're gonna stop by thinking that I'm gonna do nothing

but you didn't stop and that made me feel good.

I knew for very long that it's you who is doing this but I didn't say anything

that day when you ran away from me, I wasn't gonna slap you or anything.

you didn't even listen to me you just ran away.

Then you know what I did, I came to college 1 hour early just to notice you how you come

or what you do, but you didn't show for 4 days but I didn't stop coming to college early for you.

when she told me about all this I was impressed as hell.

like why she did all that.

I asked her why did you do all that?

she said I don't like being called a helmet ........!!!!

I said I didn't know your name so and though I found your red helmet kinda cute.

she asked me why I was writing her notes and why I was stalking her since day one.

I said I wanted to know why you are so serious or in which thought you

were so lost ...!

she said we are not that close so I can't tell you anything and then she left from there.

I was thinking that I shouldn't have said that much.

The next day I somehow managed to sit beside her.

I said hii but she didn't. 

so, I was pretty clear that she is still upset so I didn't say anything.

after the end of the lecture, she said hello sam......!

she also added, " wanna go for lunch?" I said yes why not.

we went for lunch didn't talk that much.

when we were leaving, she said want to go to a peaceful place?

I never said no to her. she said okay pick me up at 4 tomorrow morning.

I said 4 is not morning it's night what are we gonna do at that time

She said, "Nothing is more peaceful than Nights".

The next morning, I went to her house at 4 and then we started our first short trip.

she took me up on a river dam.

she was right Night is very peaceful and that place was such a beauty.

we sat on the bonnet of my car and enjoyed the view.

In my mind, I thought that something is between us a spark or maybe something because I never felt that way ever. 

so, I tried to hold her hand and when I was about to hold her, she put her head on my shoulder and she started crying.

I didn't know what to do if a girl starts crying and how to comfort her so, I took my hand and put it on her head and asked her hey don't cry tell me what happened you can share everything with me.

she cried for 30 minutes she told me I'm sorry I didn't want to cry but couldn't hold it for long.

then she told me something which changed my whole life good way or bad way even I don't know.

she said when I was in 11th std. I took commerce so I didn't change my school and neither my friends.

my mum never let me ride without a helmet.

Only one boy was a new student, he was quite shy and didn't talk to anyone.

his name was Raghav, we never talked at all though we make eye contact every morning or lunch but never spoke.

one day it was our exam and my seat was just behind him.

during the exam, he tapped on my bench and said "do you know the answer to 1st?".

I said yes and I helped him and after the exam, he said thank you so much...

and then every exam he asked me answers and I helped him.

After exams, we also started to talk in class and after school.

he also used to hang out with our group and somehow, he also became a part of it.

we also joined the same tuition classes.

so, we met every day had a good chat after going home so everything was going well.

we shared the same thought for most of this.

I kinda started to getting attached to him very much.

didn't know about him but I was pretty sure attached to him in every way.

that's my problem that I get attached to early.

and when someone left me whether it's their fault, I'm the one who's gonna cry.

so, we were going out every day and everything was going great except that day

6th Nov it was my birthday and as always, my all school friends gave me a surprise but 

Raghav wasn't there.

I called him at night and he said happy birthday Meera sorry I couldn't be there

I'm having a high fever.

I said it's okay then I went to sleep.

then in the morning, I went to school and Raghav didn't come to school either.

after school, my friends told me that let's go to some nice place.

and in the car, my friends put a blindfold on me and I asked what you guys are doing

they didn't utter a word.

after some time, they took off the blindfold and then there was this beautiful dam

it was so beautiful.

and suddenly Raghav came with a bouquet in his hand and my every friend went back in the car and they left.

He came and said "happiest birthday Meera".

I said thank you so much and asked why you didn't come yesterday and today also?

he said I was searching for a place where I can find peace in this freaking city and I found this place how is it??

I said it is wonderful Raghav I've never been to a place like this before.

he was looking so handsome at that time.

I was looking at the view and when I turned, I saw Raghav was on his knees 

and with a bouquet in his hand and he said

 "Hey Helmet I know we don't know each other for a long time, but I promise you no one in this world knows you better than me I know you from inside Meera. I know which emoji you're gonna use and I know it "when your Good Morning becomes GM" I know every little thing about you Meera and I LOVE YOU and I promise I'll never hurt you in any way I LOVE YOU Meera."

I was going crazy like a kid gets when they see their father gets home every time with a new toy in his hand.

I was out of words I couldn't stop smiling.

All I know is I hugged him so tightly like I'm never gonna lose you.

damn it was the best birthday ever the happiest I've ever been in my life

I was feeling so special for what he did for me.

The school was never so special until we were in a relationship all the cute romance was going in my life and I was loving it.

one day I was in my class and my ma'am told me to go to the computer lab and get a new mouse for her

so, I went to the lab my school's best place for making out was the computer lab cause no one except us comes there, so usually, many couples are making out so I didn't disturb them I went looking for a mouse and I heard a noise "WHAT IF YOUR SO-CALLED GIRLFRIEND CAUGHT US??".

And the answer was "AHH She’ll NEVER GONNA FIND OUT SHE TRUSTS ME SO MUCH"

My senses were saying that I've heard that voice before why that voice is sounding so similar to me?

I was praying to god that please prove me wrong this isn't that voice that I love.

 I looked at them and there was my girl best friend who was with me since childhood since kinder garden.

she was shocked as she saw me.

AND then the boy turned .........................................................

AHH 

"The thing about relationship is that in starting it gives us many cute memories 

but after some time, there's this time when we ask ourselves that is it worth getting hurt for that person?"

I was very upset that day when I saw him, I couldn't do anything I just ran away from there,

while I was going, he didn't even come to me and it made me feel that all the thing that he did 

for me was it even for real or it was nothing but time pass.

I told my friends about it and everyone was angry for him saying " how could he do that"

I don't know why but I couldn't say anything bad about him or even thinking to yell at him

cause I loved him so much I can't even digest the fact that he did this.

I couldn't sleep well at night I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and after that, I was not able to sleep.

it was like torture real torture to not talk to him or not to see him 

thing is " Never make habit of talking with your partner till midnight please, because you don't know how freaking it hurts when the other one is not there to talk with at the same time cause it’s not the time that hurts it’s the talk that does". 

The same goes with the dates that places, where you used to go used to eat all places, are gonna be there but not the same person" Log B4badal jaatein hai lekin yaadein or restaurants to whi reh jate hai "

it took me a lot to get over him but I did and I did it pretty well.

After some time, he tried to contact me but I ignored and then one day he stopped me while going back home saying “Meera am sorry I know I have hurt you so much but please give me one more chance".

After going home, I thought about it and was kind of in favor of getting back with him 

The next day he came and said sorry and everything and I told him it’s okay 

and unblocked him and we were back together.

every Sunday my family went to the same restaurant for dinner and his family also 

came every Sunday for dinner.

one day before my birthday it was Saturday, I was sleeping and received a message on my phone 

it was a pic of Raghav and a girl kissing on the riverside.

one day before my birthday, I was planning to not go to the Sunday night restaurant with my family I planned the whole dinner for me and Raghav.

But my life is hell how can I be happy again 

I met with him he didn't know that I know about him he told me hey it's your birthday tomorrow 

what you want to tell me?

I said I want you to be honest with me can you do that?

he said of course darling I've been always honest with you.

I asked him are you cheating on me again? 

he was shocked he started begging me that Meera it's not what you think please listen to me

I'll do anything to make everything alright.

but there was no chance of getting fooled again.

I told him to never meet me again and I went back home.

The next day it was Sunday and my birthday too everyone wished me but it was

very different from last birthday.

from the best birthday ever to the worst birthday ever I saw it all in 1 year.

At night, as usual, my family went to the restaurant and we were at the table 

the restaurant was on the street so it was very nice sitting outside and eating.

after sometime, I saw him and his family crossing the road and walking towards the restaurant.

he was in the last playing with his little brother and they were crossing the road he was playing with him and then they two were crossing the road they were playing and suddenly his leg slipped and he fell in the road and out of nowhere a bus came and hit him.............

It all happened in front of my eyes but I couldn't do anything about it 

I couldn't cry or shout cause my family was there I just watched him in pain and I wasn't able to touch him and hold his hand he was not waking up not opening his eyes ambulance came

they told us to get aside and they put him on the stretcher and then don't know they took him to the hospital.

at that moment when everything was happening, I was blaming myself for everything that

it's all my fault 

if I didn't break up with him, we would've been at the date tonight nothing would've happened 

I was just fucking blaming myself.

he was in a coma for 3 days until my friend told me that he is no more.

I didn't cry at that time because I knew it's all my fault, I was hurting myself cutting and scratching my wrist with a blade that I didn't deserve to live.

I even tried to jump into the river too but couldn't.

So THAT's its Sam it's my LIFE 

Happy isn't it?

After listening to Meera's story I was numb.

I liked Meera from start but after listening to her past I was very afraid of telling her that I liked her

so, I didn't.

things were different now we both were very close talked every day bunked classes to watch movies.

went to each other's place for a night stay and did all the fun.

I always had a soft corner for her and maybe she knew that too.

I really loved her so much but couldn't tell her.

One day I saw her hugging a guy outside a park and that made me feel very jealous.

after that day at clog I didn't talk to her she asked me what is up with you.

I said I saw you hugging that guy outside the park yesterday.

she said sam seriously he was my cousin he is from Delhi there's nothing like that

and since why do you care who I hug or not what are you, my boyfriend??

I realized that it was wrong judging her so I said sorry to her but she knew that I may have feeling fir her and she told me directly that sam you know how much I suffered in the past so there is no place for a relationship in my life right now or maybe later.

I told her I am okay being your friend too.

she said okay then it's fine.

but we all know that you can't stay friends with who you love or loved once feelings just don't go away.

So, it was very difficult for me not to find any small things which made me think something which is not true about us because you know an" when in love even small things matter the most".

one day I was feeling very upset so I messaged her that hey I'm not feeling well can we go somewhere and then we went to the dam.

we were sitting on the car bonnet and I was very upset so Meera was holding my hand

and she hugged me and I don't know why but I kissed her ..........

she shouted at me and said don't ever show me your face again

and then she left from there and never even looked back once

I was crying knowing that I did wrong but there was no way she is gonna forgive me

I didn't go home I sat there the whole day

regretting what I did......

So here I am 

On the final day of the college, the last 2 lectures left, and again after the lecture's ending bell rang the middle benchers who were to bunk left the class 

and then again, I was sitting on the last bench and my vision was clear to the front bench 

and there was the old same Meera staring at the wall lost in her own world.

after the Last lecture ended everyone left the classroom I went to Meera's bench and there

was a note there I picked it up.

 it said, "MEET ME ON THE TERRACE YOU SCARED BOY".

THANKH YOU.